RollaCostah! wooo hooo hoo hooo RollaCostah!

I think about that song by the Ohio Players from back in the 70's.. The fun rollicking song (to me) referred to the crazed feelings, great sex and fun that comes when young people meet someone they really like. These days however it means something different.

North Gatwick has been sending me through the loop-t-loops and 70 degree hills all this week because her grandmother is dying.

Its not pretty either.

Her mind is going. She is hallucinating, tripping. You know the deal. The result, though is that its ripping North Gatwick apart.

Well I got my bland suburban vehicle on hot standby for the inevitable trip to the Jackson Mississippi when its time to go. While its uncommon and pleasant to spend time with people who have some sense (most of her family) this trip however will not be. Her grandmother was a very nice and very smart woman in her day. She was a math teacher. Now at 89, she is already most of the way out of this world and into the next.

All we can do is wait. That's not a good feeling either.

Normally when calamity strikes anyone I care about I immediately show up with whatever is needed to fix the problem, dry tears from faces and make everyone happy. In other words whatever is necessary so I can go back to playing Grand Theft Auto. Just joking. Today however, there's nothing I can do.

Nothing.

Some temptation from the past week or so:

Donna Murello asked me how things were going with me and if I was happy. I told her I was happy with my life and that boredom is bliss. She disagreed telling me that I should 'try her out' before I get myself married.

What kind of mess is that? Look, I tried it out. It was nice and, not worth getting rid of North Gatwick.

I admit I would love to try that out. She is an attractive woman with a great body. Too bad she doesnt work in a topless bar. Then I could try it out without penalty. Why is that?

In other news I received a call from Panty Raid5. She talked about her new job at EDS and how she was thankful for all I do for her. I told her that her success is all the thanks I needed. Then she blurted out that she still thinks about me. I told her that she should stop and move on with her life, get a husband and, have some kids. However I would also love to tag that, one more time.

Mister Bachelor rolls his beautiful brown eyes.

North Gatwick decided to have a get-together at my house. She did it up right, printing and sending invitations and the whole nine yards. As a man I never sweat the details, leaving those for women to deal with. Usually all I do is cook.

"
Usually all I do is cook.
"

Anyway I sent an invitation to Angry Walk. I was IM'ing her the other day when she noticed something only a woman would notice...

[15:25] Angry Walk: I may be able to come for a bit but have a 7:30 flight the next morning so can't stay too late
[15:26] Angry Walk: btw - the Bachelor's house???
[15:26] Mister Bachelor: Riiight.. according to the Middleofnowhrere County Appraisal district, I have a house there... sooooo wouldn't it be called that?
[15:27] Angry Walk: but it said "The Bachelor's" which sounds plural
[15:28] Angry Walk: like maybe you got married or something
[15:28] Mister Bachelor: Check the blog...
[15:29] Angry Walk: I knew you guys lived together
[15:30] Mister Bachelor: Well there's no mention of marriage is it?... lol... So there's only one Bachelor there... I detect some territory marking there,,,
[15:30] Angry Walk: lol
[15:32] Mister Bachelor: I never noticed that.. Herford!
[15:33] Angry Walk: yep
[15:36] Mister Bachelor: Women never cease to amaze me...
[15:41] Angry Walk: men aren't much better!

Yes, North Gatwick is doing the plural thing. Nice move. I didn't even see that one.

Herford.

Q. Is this North Gatwick marking her territory?

I have had some inquiries in recent months about how I am doing and, what I am up to. So, I tell them the truth. I am involved with North Gatwick, we live together and generally, I am pretty happy.

The vast majority were haters. Orbie Tenn told me I was no good. Norad Sunshine stops by this blog every year to leave a comment about how pathetic I am, even though she is married and had another child. The Witch even left a comment stating I was going to get tired of North Gatwick and leave her. Interesting and hypocritical coming from someone who left me more than once.

Q. Why do people you've dated in the past, especially women, hate it when you turn out ok?
Q. What was supposed to happen to me?

Last weekend was a mixed bag. I completed 4 missions playing Grand Theft Auto, I paid off Tabitha's former car (YEA!) and I started a pretty exciting project. I am pumped. Being the gangsta I am. Let me fire some bullets for Monday.

• Mister Bachelor is taking a bath on Yahoo this morning. I really thought Microsoft would purchase the company however, because they aren't, and Jerry Yang is a pinhead the stock is plummeting.

  "
  To UKnowit: Don't worry, the MAN is gonna get me any minute now.
  "

• Over the weekend, we went to Mayfest we had a great time walking, eating, shopping for art and for me, some vomiting into trashcans. Nice.
• Another incident occurred over the weekend. We had breakfast with Jim-borrat and afterward, I jumped into Jim-borrat's car and off we went. Well, North Gatwick was behind us and I was caught looking at another woman while in Jim-borrat's car. Once again, she felt disrespected. Now it would be one thing if she was with me. I was in a different car and 50 feet ahead of her. Instead of driving my bland suburban vehicle to the mall where she was headed, she is looking in Jim-borrat's car worried about what we are talking about (ass) and what we are looking at (ass). I wonder what happens if a pretty woman appears on TV and I look at her?
  

  "
  Summertime is here and its time to hire an intern for the summer. Any takers?
  "

• An Obama supporter assumed I was, in spite of my use of Standard English, and commented on how the black church, Jeremiah Wright and probably Jesus himself was under attack. I responded "Well if I pumped negativity, prevarications and ignorant shit into thousands of peoples heads weekly I would be under attack too!" To UKnowit: Don't worry. The white man is going to bring me down any minute now. Annnnnyyy minute now. He (the white man) promised me.

  "
  Jay-Z has 101 problems now and a bitch is one hit me!
  "

• Summertime is here and its time to hire an intern. Any takers?
• Is Beyonce pregnant? If she is, I now understand why Jay-Z is no longer singing "I got 99 problem and a bitch ain't one". He has 101 problems. The 99 he already had, Beyonce is 100 and her baby is 101. Man. Why did he wreck her body like that. Evidently he was not thinking about me when he did it.